Dermatologists Make Me Sick

October 4, 2009 | 0 comments

Maybe you don’t care much about money. If you’ve grown up in Capitalist America, chances are that it has some importance in your life. Hell, money is important to me too. Now think of a dermatologist – he went through high school, probably got pretty good grades. He got into a good college – he worked his ass off. Somewhere along the way he realized he wanted to get into the medical field. He heard about dermatology, he knew peoples vanity is important to them. He saw opportunity in this profession.

Now don’t get me wrong – i’m sure many soon to be dermatologists had the thought ‘I want to help people.’ But for 99% of them, this thought came second to the money they could acquire, the status they could achieve, the opportunities they would have the rest of their life. Generally speaking, humans are selfish. Why are you here in the first place? It’s not because your brother has some pimples on his forehead and you want to help him get laid – it’s because you are dealing with this shit everyday and you want to help yourself. Everyone does.

The Road to Dermatology

So now this soon to be dermatologist makes it into a school of dermatology. He’s fed bullshit studies and textbook information that were written in the 80s. He’s convinced that this information is all true – because it’s backed by studies and proofs – because it’s written by knowledgeable professors and dermatologists alike. Now put yourself in his position. You’ve had some acne during your earlier years but it’s not as huge deal with you. Your skin is nice now and you know that your skin better be damn good or how could you ever make it in the field of dermatology? Now think to yourself, is acne, rosacea, boils, bumps, and scars very interesting to you? How about that rash on the back of some guys scalp that Gold-bond wont help? Fuck no. It’s downright depressing. Reading the obituaries everyday has more pleasantries.

So compare that to us. We deal with this shit everyday. We hate it. All we can think about is how can we get rid of it. We have a deep desire and passion to figure out what’s wrong and how to fix ourselves. We’ve studied more about acne then dermatologists. Dermatologists study about every skin disease – we specialize in one. We are one step ahead of the dermatologist.

After many years of study, the soon to be, has now become. He’s finally become that dermatologist he’s been working so hard at. He’s ready to prescribe that Benzamycin topical. When that doesn’t work he’s ready to prescribe that Erythromycin antibiotic . If that doesn’t work, and when things get worse, maybe he’ll be lucky enough to prescribe you Accutane!

Now back onto the subject of money. Remember, this was the main reason the derm became a derm in the first place. Now lets figure out how dermatologists make money:

When patients come in for checkups, treatments, and prescriptions.
Every time the patient fills his prescription

One of these was probably more apparent then the other. Let’s talk about number 2 for a bit. Can you figure out what the largest business industry in the world is? Not Microsoft, dummy, it’s the pharmaceutical industry! I could go on for hours about how the pharmaceutical industry tries to fuck us over, but that isn’t within the scope of our topic. Pharmaceutical companies make money by selling drugs. They are more devious, more notorious, more greedy then the heroin dealer on the street corner of the ghetto.

Now lets use antibiotics as our main example. There are literally several dozens types of antibiotics on the market. Not all of them come from the same company. The dermatologist has many poisons in his arsenal to mess you up with, but how does he choose? Money, of course. Pharmaceutical companies offer incentives in the form of green paper to prescribe their drugs over the others.

Now, you may be thinking i’m devils advocate. That i’m making out dermatologists to be evil gremlins with horns and the pharmaceutical companies are the devils themselves. Stop for a second and read over our dermatologists story. Two key points – he wanted to help people, and he’s convinced that the studies are true. The studies told him that clarithromycin worked on 67 out of the 93 patients studied. How would he know, he’s never taken it himself. So in his mind, this is a win win situation. Not only is he prescribing ‘proven to work’ drugs, but he’s making money at the same time. Wonderful.

Lets talk about number 1. Stop right here if you have a weak heart. After years and years of work, dermatologists must have figured out that all these drugs only treat the symptoms, that they don’t provide a cure, and in some cases cause more harm then good (let us not forget all the patients who get messed up from the drugs they prescribe and say ‘Fuck this derm i’m never going back to him again!’)

Dermatologists understand this concept of ‘no cure’, and they greet it with open arms. Dermatologists would be out of business if there was a widespread known cure to acne. Whether it be in their subconscious, or conscious, dermatologists want more and more people to get acne so they have more patients to ‘help.’

Stay away from dermatologists. Your money and your time can be better spent elsewhere.